Smells Like Burnt Asshole

An elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appointment but he leaves out the fact that he’s bleeding profusely. They schedule him for an appointment in a month and he decides this is too long of a wait and takes matters into his own hands. He inserts his wife’s curling iron in his rectum to cauterize the bleeding but instead passes out on the floor. EMS has to break down the door to get to him. Surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an AP resection and the guy lived.