Gross
Stories
Ajax on Pancakes
Actual text from triage assessment: “Pt states she accidentally poured Ajax dish detergent on her pancakes instead of syrup. Pt states she rinsed her mouth out several times but still wants to be checked.”
Read MoreUnable to Urinate? Here’s the Solution
Male patient comes to the ER complaining that he hasn’t been able to make much urine. Patient also complains that he is having severe abdominal and pelvic pressure. Upon assessing the patient he looks to be very distended. The patient begins to tell a nurse and myself how it got so bad last night that he went to the garage ...
Read MoreStill Naughty at Sixty
I work at an Emergency Center, and we had a 60 year old woman come in with a cucumber stuck up her hooha.
Read MoreBlood in the Baby’s Stool
A couple brings in their 8 month old stating they saw blood in her stool. First the night before and then that morning, they even brought the diaper so that we could verify. Upon inspection we asked if the child is eating solid foods, then point out that its just tomato skins. The look on their faces was priceless as ...
Read MoreExplosive Diarrhea
A patient waiting to be seen came up to the admit desk to say he didn't need to be seen anymore and was leaving. Turns out he was in for constipation problems and while waiting had explosive diarrhea.
Read MoreIce Ice Stoma
Elderly female patient presents with infection around her stoma. It was a warm day and she thought she would cool down quickly if she jammed some ice into it.
Read MoreBurning, Itching and Hissing
Complaint listed on chart - vaginal burning, itching and hissing. Pt states, "I sat down on the toilet and this loud hiss came out of my vagina. Someone needs to look at that."
Read MoreRemember Your Commas
Checked the chart of a patient in the ER and saw: "Nausea and vomiting after eating yellow vaginal discharge." Triage nurse forgot to put the comma between eating and yellow!
Read MorePlaying with Poop
Had a patient one time that finally decided that it would be a good time to stop digging/playing in her poop.
Read MoreSuper Duper!
Paged out to a college campus for a 20-year-old female who had "lost" her super tampon.
Read MoreConstipation: A Common Complaint
A common complaint is constipation which is often caused by some bowel obstruction. What isn't common is having the patient vomit a nice mix of vomit and poop on your thigh at the same time when you are taking blood samples.
Read MoreTreasure Trove of Things!
A 600lbs 'woman' was brought in by fire fighters (they cut her out of her house) complaining of back pain.
Read MoreI pooped and I can’t get up!
Woman calls in to the ER, "I was at your ER earlier. I have a problem - I pooped all over myself and didn't know it".
Read MoreDon’t Drink That!
A 20-something year old mother brought her 3 y/o daughter in, stating the daughter drank her strawberry-scented douche, and wanted to know if she would be okay.
Read MoreGive me that drink!
I was completing my practicum at the local hospital. One day a confused 70-something PT came in on request of her family to rule out CVA, UTI, etc.
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