Guy came into the ER needing a post accident UDC (urine drug collection). He starts off by stating that the last time he was in the ER was after being dragged 500 ft behind a truck in a Wal-Mart parking lot. I knew this guy was going to be a winner. Anyways, part of the legal procedure is that they initial the label after it is placed onto the container of urine. After I gave him the specimen to initial he says, quote, “Wow, I never had to hold my sperm before!”
