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Love the patients who tell you they take "Latex" for fluid and have had "stool in their blood", and are very put out when you ask them in triage since they have had their stated problem for weeks or months, what made them come in tonight (usually around 3 am).

#1520 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (55) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

Female calls the ER at about 0600 with a question. She said that she and her boyfriend had sex and now they could not find the condom. She stated that they had "looked everywhere" and wanted to know if she should come to the ER or "wait to pee it out." After resisting the urge to tell her that if she "peed" it out she had more iasues than we could help her with, I advised her to call her PCP office when they opened and assured her she would be OK until then.

#1519 (0) Sex - Get back to the waiting room (43) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

Call came through as male C/O pain and swelling in Left leg below knee ?Fx ankle. O/A Pt found sitting in chair alert. O/E No indication of swelling, Pt stated "Son, son, I think I've torn my metric arsehole". A famous footballer (soccer player) had recently been in the news with a Metatarsal injury.

#1516 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (58) - I dunno, seems legit. (8)

Pt admitted with DT's. A&Ox1, groggy and confused most of the night. Without warning stands up, just about loses his IV, walks straight to the mini fridge and wolfs down a sherbet I didn't know was there. Climbs back in bed like nothing happened. A&Ox1 for the rest of my shift. Best chuckle I've had in a long time.

#1515 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (39) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

An elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appt. He doesn't tell them he's bleeding profusely. They schedule him for an appt in a month. He decides this is too long of a wait. What do you do with bleeding? Cauterize it. So he jams his wife's curling iron in his ass and plugs it in. Cooks his innards and passes out on the floor. EMS has to breakdown the door to get to him. Surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an AP resection and the guy lived.

#1513 (1) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (57) - I dunno, seems legit. (12)

pt came into via EHS c/o "a had a bad dream" The ER doc told him to stop doing drugs...

#1512 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (42) - I dunno, seems legit. (3)

C/C: "Patient complains of one nare bigger than the other. No S.O.B., no pain."

#1511 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (40) - I dunno, seems legit. (1)

I was verifying a little boy's identity in triage by asking, "What's your date of birth?" He answered, " May 2nd." I asked, "What year?" and his answer? "Well, EVERY year, silly!"

#1510 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (38) - I dunno, seems legit. (39)

CC: "Choked on a biscuit" (obviously there was not enough mustard on it)

#1508 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (34) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

PA tells me "go check the lac in room 10". 50 y/o f sitting on stetcher, nad, watching tv, big bandaid on top of rfa. I introduce myself, glove up and peel bandaid off to reveal..... Pinpoint mark, neg current bleeding, neg sign of previous bleed. Ask about injury. Pt says "my arm touched the end of the knife so i thought i should get it checked". Cleaned w/ns, bacitracin & new bandaid.

#1507 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (90) - I dunno, seems legit. (1)


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